Eclipse - Meyer Stephenie - Страница 26

“And I was so sure that I could do this calmly.” She shook her head, seeming a little dazed by the flood of emotion. “It’s just that it’s harder now than it was then, when it was no more than vanity.”

She stared at the moon in silence. It was a few moments before I was brave enough to break into her reverie.

“Would you like me better if I chose to stay human?”

She turned back to me, her lips twitching into a hint of a smile. “Maybe.”

“You did get some of your happy ending, though,” I reminded her. “You got Emmett.”

“I got half.” She grinned. “You know that I saved Emmett from a bear that was mauling him, and carried him home to Carlisle. But can you guess why I stopped the bear from eating him?”

I shook my head.

“With the dark curls . . . the dimples that showed even while he was grimacing in pain . . . the strange innocence that seemed so out of place on a grown man’s face . . . he reminded me of Vera’s little Henry. I didn’t want him to die — so much that, even though I hated this life, I was selfish enough to ask Carlisle to change him for me.

“I got luckier than I deserved. Emmett is everything I would have asked for if I’d known myself well enough to know what to ask for. He’s exactly the kind of person someone like me needs. And, oddly enough, he needs me, too. That part worked out better than I could have hoped. But there will never be more than the two of us. And I’ll never sit on a porch somewhere, with him gray-haired by my side, surrounded by our grandchildren.”

Her smile was kind now. “That sounds quite bizarre to you, doesn’t it? In some ways, you are much more mature than I was at eighteen. But in other ways . . . there are many things you’ve probably never thought about seriously. You’re too young to know what you’ll want in ten years, fifteen years — and too young to give it all up without thinking it through. You don’t want to be rash about permanent things, Bella.” She patted my head, but the gesture didn’t feel condescending.

I sighed.

“Just think about it a little. Once it’s done, it can’t be undone. Esme’s made do with us as substitutes . . . and Alice doesn’t remember anything human so she can’t miss it. . . . You will remember, though. It’s a lot to give up.”

But more to get in return, I didn’t say aloud. “Thanks, Rosalie. It’s nice to understand . . . to know you better.”

“I apologize for being such a monster.” She grinned. “I’ll try to behave myself from now on.”

I grinned back at her.

We weren’t friends yet, but I was pretty sure she wouldn’t always hate me so much.

“I’ll let you sleep now.” Rosalie’s eyes flickered to the bed, and her lips twitched. “I know you’re frustrated that he’s keeping you locked up like this, but don’t give him too bad a time when he gets back. He loves you more than you know. It terrifies him to be away from you.” She got up silently and ghosted to the door. “Goodnight, Bella,” she whispered as she shut it behind herself.

“Goodnight, Rosalie,” I murmured a second too late.

It took me a long time to fall asleep after that.

When I did sleep, I had a nightmare. I was crawling across the dark, cold stones of an unfamiliar street, under lightly falling snow, leaving a trail of blood smeared behind me. A shadowy angel in a long white dress watched my progress with resentful eyes.

The next morning, Alice drove me to school while I stared grumpily out the windshield. I was feeling sleep-deprived, and it made the irritation of my imprisonment that much stronger.

“Tonight we’ll go out to Olympia or something,” she promised. “That would be fun, right?”

“Why don’t you just lock me in the basement,” I suggested, “and forget the sugar coating?”

Alice frowned. “He’s going to take the Porsche back. I’m not doing a very good job. You’re supposed to be having fun.”

“It’s not your fault,” I muttered. I couldn’t believe I actually felt guilty. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

I trudged off to English. Without Edward, the day was guaranteed to be unbearable. I sulked through my first class, well aware that my attitude wasn’t helping anything.

When the bell rang, I got up without much enthusiasm. Mike was there at the door, holding it open for me.

“Edward hiking this weekend?” he asked sociably as we walked out into the light rain.

“Yeah.”

“You want to do something tonight?”

How could he still sound hopeful?

“Can’t. I’ve got a slumber party,” I grumbled. He gave me a strange look as he processed my mood.

“Who are you —”

Mike’s question was cut short as a loud, growling roar erupted from behind us in the parking lot. Everyone on the sidewalk turned to look, staring in disbelief as the noisy black motorcycle screeched to a stop on the edge of the concrete, the engine still snarling.

Jacob waved to me urgently.

“Run, Bella!” he yelled over the engine’s roar.

I was frozen for a second before I understood.

I looked at Mike quickly. I knew I only had seconds.

How far would Alice go to restrain me in public?

“I got really sick and went home, okay?” I said to Mike, my voice filled with sudden excitement.

“Fine,” he muttered.

I pecked Mike swiftly on the cheek. “Thanks, Mike. I owe you one!” I called as I sprinted away.

Jacob revved his engine, grinning. I jumped on the back of his seat, wrapping my arms tightly around his waist.

I caught sight of Alice, frozen at the edge of the cafeteria, her eyes sparking with fury, her lip curled back over her teeth.

I shot her one pleading glance.

Then we were racing across the blacktop so fast that my stomach got lost somewhere behind me.

“Hold on,” Jacob shouted.

I hid my face in his back as he sped down the highway. I knew he would slow down when we hit the Quileute border. I just had to hold on till then. I prayed silently and fervently that Alice wouldn’t follow, and that Charlie wouldn’t happen to see me. . . .

It was obvious when we had reached the safe zone. The bike slowed, and Jacob straightened up and howled with laughter. I opened my eyes.

“We made it,” he shouted. “Not bad for a prison break, eh?”

“Good thinking, Jake.”

“I remembered what you said about the psychic leech not being about to predict what I’m going to do. I’m glad you didn’t think of this — she wouldn’t have let you go to school.”

“That’s why I didn’t consider it.”

He laughed triumphantly. “What do you want to do today?”

“Anything!” I laughed back. It felt great to be free.