Breaking Dawn - Meyer Stephenie - Страница 41

And to get away from Sam.

Her jaw clenched. I don’t have to explain myself to you. I just have to do what I’m told. I belong to your pack, Jacob. The end.

I paced away from her, growling.

Crap. I was never going to get rid of her. As much as she disliked me, as much as she loathed the Cullens, as happy as she’d be to go kill all the vampires right now, as much as it pissed her off to have to protect them instead—none of that was anything compared to what she felt being free of Sam.

Leah didn’t like me, so it wasn’t such a chore having me wish she would disappear.

She loved Sam. Still. And having him wish she would disappear was more pain than she was willing to live with, now that she had a choice. She would have taken any other option. Even if it meant moving in with the Cullens as their lapdog.

I don’t know if I’d go that far, she thought. She tried to make the words tough, aggressive, but there were big cracks in her show. I’m sure I’d give killing myself a few good tries first.

Look, Leah…

No, youlook, Jacob. Stop arguing with me, because it’s not going to do any good. I’ll stay out of your way, okay? I’ll do anything you want. Except go back to Sam’s pack and be the pathetic ex-girlfriend he can’t get away from. If you want me to leave—she sat back on her haunches and stared straight into my eyes—you’re going to have to makeme.

I snarled for a long, angry minute. I was beginning to feel some sympathy for Sam, despite what he had done to me, to Seth. No wonder he was always ordering the pack around. How else would you ever get anything done?

Seth, are you gonna get mad at me if I kill your sister?

He pretended to think about it for a minute. Well… yeah, probably.

I sighed.

Okay, then, Ms. Do-Anything-I-Want. Why don’t you make yourself useful by telling us what you know? What happened after we left last night?

Lots of howling. But you probably heard that part. It was so loud that it took us a while to figure out that we couldn’t hear either of you anymore. Sam was… Words failed her, but we could see it in our head. Both Seth and I cringed. After that, it was clear pretty quick that we were going to have to rethink things. Sam was planning to talk to the other Elders first thing this morning. We were supposed to meet up and figure out a game plan. I could tell he wasn’t going to mount another attack right away, though. Suicide at this point, with you and Seth AWOL and the bloodsuckers forewarned. I’m not sure what they’ll do, but I wouldn’t be wandering the forest alone if I was a leech. It’s open season on vamps now.

You decided to skip the meeting this morning? I asked.

When we split up for patrols last night, I asked permission to go home, to tell my mother what had happened—

Crap! You told Mom? Seth growled.

Seth, hold off on the sibling stuff for a sec. Go on, Leah.

So once I was human, I took a minute to think things through. Well, actually, I took all night. I bet the others think I fell asleep. But the whole two-separate-packs, two-separate-pack-minds thing gave me a lot to sift through. In the end, I weighed Seth’s safety and the, er, other benefits against the idea of turning traitor and sniffing vampire stink for who knows how long. You know what I decided. I left a note for my mom. I expect we’ll hear it when Sam finds out.…

Leah cocked an ear to the west.

Yeah, I expect we will, I agreed.

So that’s everything. What do we do now? she asked.

She and Seth both looked at me expectantly.

This was exactly the kind of thing I didn’t want to have to do.

I guess we just keep an eye out for now. That’s all we cando. You should probably take a nap, Leah.

You’ve had as much sleep as I have.

Thought you were going to do what you were told?

Right. That’s going to get old, she grumbled, and then she yawned. Well, whatever. I don’t care.

I’ll run the border, Jake. I’m not tired at all. Seth was so glad I hadn’t forced them home, he was all but prancing with excitement.

Sure, sure. I’m going to go check in with the Cullens.

Seth took off along the new path worn into the damp earth. Leah looked after him thoughtfully.

Maybe a round or two before I crash.… Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?

NO!

Barking out a low chuckle, Leah lunged into the woods after him.

I growled uselessly. So much for peace and quiet.

Leah was trying—for Leah. She kept her jibes to a minimum as she raced around the circuit, but it was impossible not to be aware of her smug mood. I thought of the whole “two’s company” saying. It didn’t really apply, because one was plenty to my mind. But if there had to be three of us, it was hard to think of anyone that I wouldn’t trade her for.

Paul? she suggested.

Maybe, I allowed.

She laughed to herself, too jittery and hyper to get offended. I wondered how long the buzz from dodging Sam’s pity would last.

That will be my goal, then—to be less annoying than Paul.

Yeah, work on that.

I changed into my other form when I was a few yards from the lawn. I hadn’t been planning to spend much time human here. But I hadn’t been planning to have Leah in my head, either. I pulled on my ragged shorts and started across the lawn.

The door opened before I got to the steps, and I was surprised to see Carlisle rather than Edward step outside to meet me—his face looked exhausted and defeated. For a second, my heart froze. I faltered to a stop, unable to speak.

“Are you all right, Jacob?” Carlisle asked.

“Is Bella?” I choked out.

“She’s… much the same as last night. Did I startle you? I’m sorry. Edward said you were coming in your human form, and I came out to greet you, as he didn’t want to leave her. She’s awake.”

And Edward didn’t want to lose any time with her, because he didn’t have much time left. Carlisle didn’t say the words out loud, but he might as well have.

It had been a while since I’d slept—since before my last patrol. I could really feel that now. I took a step forward, sat down on the porch steps, and slumped against the railing.

Moving whisper-quiet as only a vampire could, Carlisle took a seat on the same step, against the other railing.

“I didn’t get a chance to thank you last night, Jacob. You don’t know how much I appreciate your… compassion. I know your goal was to protect Bella, but I owe you the safety of the rest of my family as well. Edward told me what you had to do. . . .”

“Don’t mention it,” I muttered.

“If you prefer.”

We sat in silence. I could hear the others in the house. Emmett, Alice, and Jasper, speaking in low, serious voices upstairs. Esme humming tunelessly in another room. Rosalie and Edward breathing close by—I couldn’t tell which was which, but I could hear the difference in Bella’s labored panting. I could hear her heart, too. It seemed… uneven.

It was like fate was out to make me do everything I’d ever sworn I wouldn’t in the course of twenty-four hours. Here I was, hanging around, waiting for her to die.

I didn’t want to listen anymore. Talking was better than listening.

“She’s family to you?” I asked Carlisle. It had caught my notice before, when he’d said I’d helped the rest of his family, too.

“Yes. Bella is already a daughter to me. A beloved daughter.”

“But you’re going to let her die.”

He was quiet long enough that I looked up. His face was very, very tired. I knew how he felt.

“I can imagine what you think of me for that,” he finally said. “But I can’t ignore her will. It wouldn’t be right to make such a choice for her, to force her.”