Breaking Dawn - Meyer Stephenie - Страница 37

I just had to forget that they were protecting the same thing I would protect. I had to forget the reason why I might want them to win.…

Jake, Embry warned. Keep your head in the game.

My feet moved sluggishly, pulling against the drag of the strings.

There’s no point fighting it, Embry whispered again.

He was right. I would end up doing what Sam wanted, if he was willing to push it. And he was. Obviously.

There was a good reason for the Alpha’s authority. Even a pack as strong as ours wasn’t much of a force without a leader. We had to move together, to think together, in order to be effective. And that required the body to have a head.

So what if Sam was wrong now? There was nothing anyone could do. No one could dispute his decision.

Except.

And there it was—a thought I’d never, never wanted to have. But now, with my legs all tied up in strings, I recognized the exception with relief—more than relief, with a fierce joy.

No one could dispute the Alpha’s decision—except for me.

I hadn’t earned anything. But there were things that had been born in me, things that I’d left unclaimed.

I’d never wanted to lead the pack. I didn’t want to do it now. I didn’t want the responsibility for all our fates resting on my shoulders. Sam was better at that than I would ever be.

But he was wrong tonight.

And I had not been born to kneel to him.

The bonds fell off my body the second that I embraced my birthright.

I could feel it gathering in me, both a freedom and also a strange, hollow power. Hollow because an Alpha’s power came from his pack, and I had no pack. For a second, loneliness overwhelmed me.

I had no pack now.

But I was straight and strong as I walked to where Sam stood, planning with Paul and Jared. He turned at the sound of my advance, and his black eyes narrowed.

No, I told him again.

He heard it right away, heard the choice that I’d made in the sound of the Alpha voice in my thoughts.

He jumped back a half step with a shocked yelp.

Jacob? What have you done?

I won’t follow you, Sam. Not for something so wrong.

He stared at me, stunned. You would… you would choose your enemies over your family?

They aren’t—I shook my head, clearing it—they aren’t our enemies. They never have been. Until I really thought about destroying them, thought it through, I didn’t see that.

This isn’t about them, he snarled at me. This is about Bella. She has never been the one for you, she has never chosen you, but you continue to destroy your life for her!

They were hard words, but true words. I sucked in a big gulp of air, breathing them in.

Maybe you’re right. But you’re going to destroy the pack over her, Sam. No matter how many of them survive tonight, they will always have murder on their hands.

We have to protect our families!

I know what you’ve decided, Sam. But you don’t decide for me, not anymore.

Jacob—you can’t turn your back on the tribe.

I heard the double echo of his Alpha command, but it was weightless this time. It no longer applied to me. He clenched his jaw, trying to force me to respond to his words.

I stared into his furious eyes. Ephraim Black’s son was not born to follow Levi Uley’s.

Is this it, then, Jacob Black? His hackles rose and his muzzle pulled back from his teeth. Paul and Jared snarled and bristled at his sides. Even if you can defeat me, the pack will never follow you!

Now I jerked back, a surprised whine escaping my throat.

Defeat you? I’m not going to fight you, Sam.

Then what’s your plan? I’m not stepping aside so that you can protect the vampire spawn at the tribe’s expense.

I’m not telling you to step aside.

If you order them to follow you—

I’ll nevertake anyone’s will away from him.

His tail whipped back and forth as he recoiled from the judgment in my words. Then he took a step forward so that we were toe to toe, his exposed teeth inches from mine. I hadn’t noticed till this moment that I’d grown taller than him.

There cannot be more than one Alpha. The pack has chosen me. Will you rip us apart tonight? Will you turn on your brothers? Or will you end this insanity and join us again? Every word was layered with command, but it couldn’t touch me. Alpha blood ran undiluted in my veins.

I could see why there was never more than one Alpha male in a pack. My body was responding to the challenge. I could feel the instinct to defend my claim rising in me. The primitive core of my wolf-self tensed for the battle of supremacy.

I focused all my energy to control that reaction. I would not fall into a pointless, destructive fight with Sam. He was my brother still, even though I was rejecting him.

There is only one Alpha for this pack. I’m not contesting that. I’m just choosing to go my own way.

Do you belong to a covennow, Jacob?

I flinched.

I don’t know, Sam. But I do know this—

He shrunk back as he felt the weight of the Alpha in my tone. It affected him more than his touched me. Because I had been born to lead him.

I willstand between you and the Cullens. I won’t just watch while the pack kills innocent—it was hard to apply that word to vampires, but it was true—people. The pack is better than that. Lead them in the right direction, Sam.

I turned my back on him, and a chorus of howls tore into the air around me.

Digging my nails into the earth, I raced away from the uproar I’d caused. I didn’t have much time. At least Leah was the only one with a prayer of outrunning me, and I had a head start.

The howling faded with the distance, and I took comfort as the sound continued to rip apart the quiet night. They weren’t after me yet.

I had to warn the Cullens before the pack could get it together and stop me. If the Cullens were prepared, it might give Sam a reason to rethink this before it was too late. I sprinted toward the white house I still hated, leaving my home behind me. Home didn’t belong to me anymore. I’d turned my back on it.

Today had begun like any other day. Made it home from patrol with the rainy sunrise, breakfast with Billy and Rachel, bad TV, bickering with Paul… How did it change so completely, turn all surreal? How did everything get messed up and twisted so that I was here now, all alone, an unwilling Alpha, cut off from my brothers, choosing vampires over them?

The sound I’d been fearing interrupted my dazed thoughts—it was the soft impact of big paws against the ground, chasing after me. I threw myself forward, rocketing through the black forest. I just had to get close enough so that Edward could hear the warning in my head. Leah wouldn’t be able to stop me alone.

And then I caught the mood of the thoughts behind me. Not anger, but enthusiasm. Not chasing… but following.

My stride broke. I staggered two steps before it evened out again.

Wait up. My legs aren’t as long as yours.

SETH! What do you think you’re DOING? GO HOME!

He didn’t answer, but I could feel his excitement as he kept right on after me. I could see through his eyes as he could see through mine. The night scene was bleak for me—full of despair. For him, it was hopeful.

I hadn’t realized I was slowing down, but suddenly he was on my flank, running in position beside me.

I am not joking, Seth! This is no place for you. Get out of here.

The gangly tan wolf snorted.I’ve got your back, Jacob. I think you’re right. And I’m not going to stand behind Sam when—

Oh yes you are the hell going to stand behind Sam! Get your furry butt back to La Push and do what Sam tells you to do.