In Your Heart - Smeltzer Micalea - Страница 23

“Coming from you that means nothing!” Ezra laughed, shoving a wall of water at me.

I didn’t turn away in time and some of it went up my nose. I coughed and sputtered.

Ezra immediately ceased his attack. “Are you okay?” He asked.

I nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Before I knew what was happening he had my back pinned against the pool wall with his arms on either side of me. He stared down at me, his dark eyes intense. I watched as a droplet of water fell from one of his curls and onto his nose, before rolling down his lips.

My heart thudded in my chest at his proximity and my muscles locked up. When he got this close I never knew what to do. My body had always reacted to Ezra, I just denied what I felt. I tried to pretend it didn’t exist, because it was easier that way. He was right, we couldn’t ruin our friendship even if I did daydream about the way his lips would feel against mine. Even when I was with Braden I’d still felt this intense connection to Ezra. I guessed maybe Braden had been right to be so jealous.

“So, we’re good?” He asked.

“Huh?” My brows knit in confusion. I’d been too busy staring at his lips to process his words.

“Are we good?” He repeated. “After our talk earlier…we’re still good, right?”

“Oh,” I shook my head, “yeah.”

His smile was blinding, shedding light on all the darkest parts of myself. Ezra, in many ways, was the best parts of me. There was something about him that was so pure and good that you couldn’t help but be affected by that if you were around him for long. I swore he had one of the kindest and pure souls that ever existed. There weren’t many people like him and I was lucky enough to call him my best friend.

“I want you to know that I really am sorry for acting like such an asshole the past few days. It was wrong of me.” He took a deep breath. “I’m going to be a better friend to you.” He reached up, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

My eyes closed and the skin on my cheek tingled where his fingers had brushed against it.

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. I hated that I was so affected by him—that I wanted him in a way that he refused to want me. I knew it was still too soon to want a relationship—and I didn’t—but I hated that he refused to even entertain the idea of an us one day. My feelings were obviously stronger for him than his were for me. I’d been denying my feelings for so long, trying desperately to ignore them, but from the moment Ezra dove in the lake after me during my Thank-God-That-Asshole-Is-Out-Of-Your-Life party they’d become impossible to ignore. At least the night I got drunk he admitted to being attracted to me. If it weren’t for that I’d still be convinced that my feelings were entirely one-sided.

“You already are the best friend I could ask for. You’ve gone above and beyond best friend duties,” I joked, finally answering him.

“I’d do anything for my friends. You’re my family.” He waved his arms, encompassing his band mates and their girls.

The Willow Creek boys really were like family, and by extension the people they brought into their inner circle became family too.

I knew I’d become a better person by knowing them, especially by befriending Ezra. He’d become my anchor when I was lost and confused. I knew without him I would’ve never had the courage to pursue my dream and own a store. He believed in me when most people didn’t—but as a teenager I’d given people a reason not to have faith in me. I’d spent more time chasing boys than figuring out what I wanted in life. And then once I had things figured out, I’d met Braden. He’d completely fooled me. I’d believed I’d finally found the right guy for me, but I’d never been more wrong. I didn’t regret my time with Braden though. The way I saw it, being with him taught me a valuable life lesson—to appreciate the good in my life, and to stop striving for an unrealistic ideal.

Ezra snapped his fingers in front of my face. “Sadie?”

“Sorry, I zoned out,” I laughed. I squared my shoulders, the water sloshing around my body as I swam away from the edge of the pool, putting more distance between us.

I hated the way my heart came to life when I was near him. The stupid, treacherous, organ didn’t seem to know that he was off limits.

Ezra swam away, back to the guys.

Emma and I got out of the pool to grab some food. We ended up back in the cabana and I took over the lounger Maddox had vacated.

Emma put on her sunglasses, smiling out at the scene that played before us.

Chatter, music, and laughter filled the air and children ran around with sparklers, their happiness contagious.

Off in the distance a group of guys, Trace and Trent included, began to set off fireworks.

I smiled at the sight, then at Emma, and the guys as they got out of the pool.

Hayes ran over to us, his hair slicked back off of his forehead. He held his hand out for me. “Come on, you can’t see the fireworks from over here.”

I wanted to argue that it was still daylight, so even up close you’d barely be able to see them, but I let him lead me away.

We joined the group I’d watched earlier and they set off another round of fireworks.

“Wait until you see the ones they have for tonight.” Hayes whispered in my ear. “They’re epic.”

I believed him. The Wentworth’s were loaded, so they could pay to have the best.

“This is nice, huh?” He asked as a firework crackled, sparks flying low to the ground.

“Yeah,” I replied, but I couldn’t keep my eyes from drifting behind us to Ezra.

I’d tried many times to get over my ridiculous crush on my best friend, but it was impossible.

Even when I thought I’d moved on with Braden, a flame in my heart still burned for Ezra—reaching and hoping that maybe he felt it too.

He lifted his head, as if he felt my gaze on him, and his eyes collided with mine.

I quickly looked away, focusing back on what Hayes was saying, but that one look from Ezra had revealed so much and it only served to make the ache inside me grow stronger.

“MOM, I’M FINE,”I assured her for the thousandth time since I’d answered my phone. I had her on speaker while I folded my clothes and put them away.

“But Sadie,” she started in again, “you were supposed to get married today. I know it has to be bothering you. You’re my daughter, I can sense these things.”

I sighed. “Things are hitting me harder today,” I confessed, “but in all honestly, I dodged a bullet. I wouldn’t have been happy with Braden in the long run. You know that. You never were his biggest supporter.”

“That’s because he treated you like you were beneath him. You need a man who wants to stand at your side, not one that acts like you’re a child.”

My mom. So, wise. Too bad I tended to ignore her advice.

“I know,” I agreed, putting away the last of my laundry.

“Why don’t you come over today, sweetie?” She asked. “We could bake cookies like we used to.”

“I just don’t feel like it.” I grabbed my phone off of the bed and switched it off of speaker before holding it to my ear. “I have some things I need to do today,” lie, “and I really am fine. You don’t need to worry so much. I’m a big girl.”

Her sigh echoed over the speaker. “Sadie, you’ll always be my baby to me. The sooner you realize that, the better.”

“Okay, okay.” I tucked the phone between my ear and shoulder as I reached for the water bottle on my nightstand and took a sip. “I have to go now, mom.”

“Alright, but if you change your mind and want to come over I’ll be home all day.”

“Okay,” I said again. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

I hung up the phone and grabbed my tennis shoes, sitting on the edge of the bed as I tied them on. I hoped going on a run would help clear my head. I hadn’t lied when I told my mom I was okay, but it was still a hard pill to swallow.