Выбрать книгу по жанру
Фантастика и фэнтези
- Боевая фантастика
- Героическая фантастика
- Городское фэнтези
- Готический роман
- Детективная фантастика
- Ироническая фантастика
- Ироническое фэнтези
- Историческое фэнтези
- Киберпанк
- Космическая фантастика
- Космоопера
- ЛитРПГ
- Мистика
- Научная фантастика
- Ненаучная фантастика
- Попаданцы
- Постапокалипсис
- Сказочная фантастика
- Социально-философская фантастика
- Стимпанк
- Технофэнтези
- Ужасы и мистика
- Фантастика: прочее
- Фэнтези
- Эпическая фантастика
- Юмористическая фантастика
- Юмористическое фэнтези
- Альтернативная история
Детективы и триллеры
- Боевики
- Дамский детективный роман
- Иронические детективы
- Исторические детективы
- Классические детективы
- Криминальные детективы
- Крутой детектив
- Маньяки
- Медицинский триллер
- Политические детективы
- Полицейские детективы
- Прочие Детективы
- Триллеры
- Шпионские детективы
Проза
- Афоризмы
- Военная проза
- Историческая проза
- Классическая проза
- Контркультура
- Магический реализм
- Новелла
- Повесть
- Проза прочее
- Рассказ
- Роман
- Русская классическая проза
- Семейный роман/Семейная сага
- Сентиментальная проза
- Советская классическая проза
- Современная проза
- Эпистолярная проза
- Эссе, очерк, этюд, набросок
- Феерия
Любовные романы
- Исторические любовные романы
- Короткие любовные романы
- Любовно-фантастические романы
- Остросюжетные любовные романы
- Порно
- Прочие любовные романы
- Слеш
- Современные любовные романы
- Эротика
- Фемслеш
Приключения
- Вестерны
- Исторические приключения
- Морские приключения
- Приключения про индейцев
- Природа и животные
- Прочие приключения
- Путешествия и география
Детские
- Детская образовательная литература
- Детская проза
- Детская фантастика
- Детские остросюжетные
- Детские приключения
- Детские стихи
- Детский фольклор
- Книга-игра
- Прочая детская литература
- Сказки
Поэзия и драматургия
- Басни
- Верлибры
- Визуальная поэзия
- В стихах
- Драматургия
- Лирика
- Палиндромы
- Песенная поэзия
- Поэзия
- Экспериментальная поэзия
- Эпическая поэзия
Старинная литература
- Античная литература
- Древневосточная литература
- Древнерусская литература
- Европейская старинная литература
- Мифы. Легенды. Эпос
- Прочая старинная литература
Научно-образовательная
- Альтернативная медицина
- Астрономия и космос
- Биология
- Биофизика
- Биохимия
- Ботаника
- Ветеринария
- Военная история
- Геология и география
- Государство и право
- Детская психология
- Зоология
- Иностранные языки
- История
- Культурология
- Литературоведение
- Математика
- Медицина
- Обществознание
- Органическая химия
- Педагогика
- Политика
- Прочая научная литература
- Психология
- Психотерапия и консультирование
- Религиоведение
- Рефераты
- Секс и семейная психология
- Технические науки
- Учебники
- Физика
- Физическая химия
- Философия
- Химия
- Шпаргалки
- Экология
- Юриспруденция
- Языкознание
- Аналитическая химия
Компьютеры и интернет
- Базы данных
- Интернет
- Компьютерное «железо»
- ОС и сети
- Программирование
- Программное обеспечение
- Прочая компьютерная литература
Справочная литература
Документальная литература
- Биографии и мемуары
- Военная документалистика
- Искусство и Дизайн
- Критика
- Научпоп
- Прочая документальная литература
- Публицистика
Религия и духовность
- Астрология
- Индуизм
- Православие
- Протестантизм
- Прочая религиозная литература
- Религия
- Самосовершенствование
- Христианство
- Эзотерика
- Язычество
- Хиромантия
Юмор
Дом и семья
- Домашние животные
- Здоровье и красота
- Кулинария
- Прочее домоводство
- Развлечения
- Сад и огород
- Сделай сам
- Спорт
- Хобби и ремесла
- Эротика и секс
Деловая литература
- Банковское дело
- Внешнеэкономическая деятельность
- Деловая литература
- Делопроизводство
- Корпоративная культура
- Личные финансы
- Малый бизнес
- Маркетинг, PR, реклама
- О бизнесе популярно
- Поиск работы, карьера
- Торговля
- Управление, подбор персонала
- Ценные бумаги, инвестиции
- Экономика
Жанр не определен
Техника
Прочее
Драматургия
Фольклор
Военное дело
The Wager - Dyken Rachel Van - Страница 24
He knew he was an ass and didn’t deserve her. He also knew he would most likely mess up and she’d hate him.
And then there was also his past with women. Add that on top of all the shameful things he’d done to Kacey and he wasn’t sure he could trust himself, let alone allow someone else to put their trust in him.
With a sigh he looked back down at the menu and tried to find something to order. Everything looked fuzzy; nothing sounded good, nothing but her.
And sadly, Char wasn’t on the menu. Maybe if he could find some chalk he’d put her on there and ask nicely.
Then he’d nicely push everything off the table.
And nicely strip her of her clothes.
Then nicely lay claim to her—
“Jake?” Char interrupted. “You’re all flushed. Are you okay?”
Hell no. He was not okay.
He gripped the sides of his chair and gave her a curt nod. “I was just thinking.”
“Care to clue me in?” Char laughed. “Your thoughts seem exciting.”
Oh, if she only knew.
“Ready to order?” A waiter popped out of nowhere.
Damn. If Jake would have actually been looking at the menu he could’ve fired something off, but his mind had gone completely blank, and now he was staring at Char’s mouth, like a starving man. Perfect. He was turning into a lunatic. Grandma would be pleased with herself.
“I’ll have the chef’s salad with a side of fries.”
Jake laughed and pointed at Char. “Same for me.”
She took a sip of wine and closed her eyes.
Mouth completely dry, Jake watched as she savored the red wine and finally swallowed.
He’d be lucky to get out of the restaurant without dying from arousal. He cleared his throat and managed to look away. “So, fries and salad, huh?”
“Best of both worlds.” Char answered.
Out of the corner of his eye he noticed that the glass of temptation, aka the wine, was back on the table. He exhaled and managed to gain a bit more control over himself as their eyes met again.
“So we eat.” Char chewed her lower lip. “Then we get the cake topper, and only one more task?”
“Yup.”
“Should be easy.”
“We’ll be done in no time.” Jake winked.
Chapter Twenty-five
“We really need to stop saying things like that.” Char sighed as they watched the elderly woman type into the computer using only her pointer fingers.
“Now.” Blanche, the owner of the cake shop, stopped typing. “What was the last name?”
“Titus,” Jake said slowly.
“Can you spell that, please?” The lady smiled, revealing a large set of teeth that looked like the perfect dentures.
“Uh, sure. T, I, T, U, S.”
“T.” She typed and looked up.
Char managed not to laugh but only barely. She had to look away.
“I.” Jake paused.
Sure enough Blanche looked up again. Holy crap, the woman would try the patience of a saint!
“T,” he continued.
“Tit?” Blanche coughed. “What kind of last name is that?”
“No, no, no.” Jake leaned over the counter. “There’s two more letters.”
“Oh!” Blanche touched her hands to her cheeks and laughed. “Dearie, I’m so sorry, this old brain doesn’t work as well as it used to!”
“Does it work at all?” Char mumbled under her breath. Jake elbowed her as he continued spelling.
“U.”
Blanche poked the U button and looked up.
Seriously. They could have baked bread in the time it took that woman to type one name.
“S.”
Both she and Jake exhaled as Blanche finally typed in the last letter and pressed enter on the computer.
They only sound in the tiny shop was the hum of the computer and the light violin music playing in the background. There were cupcakes layered in a glass box in front of the register and a few cake toppers lying around. All in all it was a really small shop.
“Oh no.” Blanche sighed.
Jake glanced at Char, and a look of complete irritation flashed across his perfect features before he said in a strained voice, “Blanche, is something wrong?”
“It’s the topper.”
“Yes?”
“The one we ordered and the one that came in are different. I tried calling the number they gave me but they never returned the call.”
“What number did you have?” Jake asked.
Blanche’s slow hands made their way across the computer. Two minutes later she was reading off a number.
“Grandma.” Char and Jake both said her name as if it was an expletive.
“Why don’t I show it to you and you can decide?” Blanche put her hand in the air. “I’ll go get it. I just need to find it.”
When she disappeared to the back, Char leaned against the counter and sighed. “By the time she gets back I’ll be too old to have children.”
“At least you won’t have all those cats.” Jake winked.
“Wow, helpful, Mr. Sensitive. Thanks.”
He shrugged and looked around the shop. “This doesn’t seem like the type of place Kacey would choose for a cake topper.”
“Tell me about it,” Char grumbled. “The dress I had to try on was awful. I swear I thought Grandma took me to the wrong shop.”
They both gasped and looked at each another.
“Do you think…?” Jake asked.
“What?” Char put her hands on her hips. “That this is some sort of sick joke and Grandma’s doing it on purpose to torture us?”
“No.” Jake shook his head. “You think?”
Char squinted and looked at the door. It was a reputable shop, and the lady did seem to have nice designs. “I don’t think she would stoop so low.”
“She faked her own death to get Kacey and Travis together. Believe me, this is exactly the type of thing she’d do.”
“Here it is!” Blanche showed up with a cake topper that looked perfectly normal. It was a couple who looked like Kacey and Travis, dancing in each other’s arms.
“Not bad.” Jake looked at Blanche. “What’s wrong with it?”
Blanche held up her hand and picked up the stand from the box then set the glass figurine down inside it.
The stand said, “Tits Forever.”
“Holy hell.” Jake swore under his breath. “We can’t take that to the wedding!”
Char covered her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing, then cleared her throat. “Is um, is there any way we can do it without the stand?”
Blanche looked horrified that she would even suggest it. “Without the stand?”
Char nodded.
“Without the stand?” Blanche’s eyes flared.
“Just back up slowly,” Jake whispered, grabbing Char’s hand and shielding her with his body.
“It needs the stand!” Blanche shouted. “Every figurine has a specifically made stand to sit on the cake; otherwise it sinks through. Do you want to ruin this wedding? What type of a bride are you?”
“Oh.” Char peaked around Jake’s body. “I’m not the bride.”
Blanche’s eyes narrowed. “But you’re picking up your cake topper.”
“Maid of honor.” Char raised her hand.
Blanche looked to Jake.
“I, uh,” he stuttered. “I’m the brother. Best man.”
“And you let this happen? You let them order a cake topping with the wrong spelling?” Blanche walked slowly around the counter and faced them. “What type of friends are you?”
“Bad ones,” Jake agreed. “Terrible ones.”
Blanche shook her head. “When’s the wedding?”
“Next week,” Char piped up.
“Well then, good luck telling them you won’t have a cake topper.”
“We’ll take it!” Char shouted from behind Jake.
He swung around. “It says Tits forever. No way in hell is that going on the wedding cake.”
“They need a topper!” Char argued. “You’re a guy. Can’t you just build something for the cake, so we can still use the topper they ordered? It’s really pretty. I mean when you take the ‘Tits’ out.”
Jake cracked a smile.
Char looked away again.
“Damn it.” He pulled out his credit card. “We’ll take it. Stand and all.”
“Lovely.” Blanche smiled. “I’m sure the bride and groom will love it. And if you ever need another cake topper, please be sure to keep Tops R Us in mind.”
- Предыдущая
- 24/63
- Следующая