If You Deceive - Cole Kresley - Страница 30

The black look he gave her was rewarding. "Given the chance to do things over, I'd have done them differently."

"Is that supposed to be an apology?"

"I doona believe in apologies. Instead, I'm offering you a future, which is more valuable."

"That night, you kept going even though I was hurt."

"I dinna know—"

"You mean to tell me that an experienced man of the world couldn't tell when a woman beneath him is in pain and on the verge of sobbing?"

Did he stifle a wince? "You had a mask on. I could no' see your tears. And I swear to you, I stopped as soon as I realized."

"Right. And then you…you finished what you'd started, adding to the humiliation."

"I dinna intend to humiliate you. That was…involuntary."

She frowned. "Involuntary? What does…?" She trailed off, feeling herself flush at the notion of him overcome with lust. "Oh. Well, the fact remains that even when you realized, you almost didn't stop."

"But I did. And one day you'll understand just how goddamned difficult that was." He looked to the right of her and said absently, "It's hard for you to imagine because you were feeling pain, but I was no'." His brows drew together as if remembering the encounter right then—an idea that made her shiver. "I was feeling more pleasure than I had in years."

"Then whydid you stop?"

"I dinna want to hurt you." He turned back to meet her eyes. "I suppose that means I'm no' yet thoroughly beyond redemption."

"Redemption? I hope you didn't come here expectingme to redeem you, MacCarrick, because if so, you've chosen the wrong girl."

"No, I came here expecting you to marry me." Raking his heated gaze over her, he said, "And I think I got her right."

Chapter Nineteen

Ethan was confounded by how much shewasn't jumping at this opportunity.

"So how rich are you? As rich as Quin?"

"No. Quite a deal more than Quin."

Instead of being pleased by this, her face turned cold. "You're rich, titled, and not too terribly old. You could have anyone you wanted. Yet you chose a dowryless girl you don't know?"

Too terribly old?"I've already explained this."

"And I don't accept your explanation. Something is wrong with you or your situation, and you're hiding it. You chose me, a foreign girl, so I wouldn't have heard about unsavory predilections or tales of gin-swilling or shaky finances—"

"I doona drink liquor. My finances are solid." He wondered why he sounded so fierce about this, when he had no intention of marrying her. "And the only unsavory predilection I have is that I plan to use you well, until we're both spent, every single night."

Her face screwed up into an expression of distaste. "Would you really want me, knowing that the only reason I'd accept a man like you is because I'd rather forgo hunger pangs and torture by henchmen?"

"Does no' matter why. Just that you do."

"It doesn't feel right to me. I know how aristocratic lords are—there'salways something wrong, always some secret." Though he wouldn't have thought it possible, he realized she was more cynical than he was.

In a deliberate tone, he asked, "Are the reasons why I have no' made a match no' obvious?"

"Because of your foot-long scar?" She rolled her eyes.

"Damn it, witch, it's no' that long," he said between gritted teeth.

"Maybe it's not if you measure end to end, but if you trace every turn, it is."

How badly he'd wanted a woman to acknowledge the scar, to get the awkwardness out of the way. And here this chit was looking him in the eyes, facing him fully, discussing it—but not in any manner he'd ever imagined. "You're daft."

With a huff of irritation, she crossed to his spot on the bed. She lifted a knee to the edge, tilting her head as she studied his face. She smelled of strawberries and sweet woman, and his cock shot harder. He was struggling not to clutch her waist and roll her to the bed—

She…touchedhis scar.

Biting her lip, concentrating, she traced her finger along it.

A beautiful woman was touching his face—analyzingit. The mark was disgusting—why wasn't she repelled?

When she apparently couldn't get the length she'd claimed, shetugged on his face. He willed himself not to snatch her hand away, anxious to see what she would do next.What will she say? What will she call me…?

At last, she simply seemed to grow bored with it. "Well, perhaps I was wrong," she conceded. "But the scaris big—very big. How did you get it? Did it hurt?"

"Of course, it bloody hurt," he snapped, reminded as ever that she was the daughter of the one who'd dealt him that blow.

She drew back from him, the intimacy lost. Then assuming a haughty expression, she clucked her tongue. "Running with scissors, Scot?"

"One day, I'll tell you all about it," he lied.

She huffed back to her spot on the floor and mouthed, "Big" to him before plucking up another strawberry.

"Well, thank you for dinner and the ring," Maddy said half an hour later as she rose to leave. "Both proved agreeable."

"Madeleine, the watch you've pocketed belonged to my father's father. You canna have that one, but I'd be glad to get you another."

She jutted her chin up, digging for it and tossing it on the bed.

"And you managed to get that candle holder you were eyeing into your pocket, too?"

Deuce it, how had he seen her?

"Commendable,sionnach ."

"What does that word mean?"

"It means 'fox.' That's what you remind me of."

"Do you know what you remind me of? A wolf in sheep's clothing. Tonight you've been more civil, but it's obvious to me that it's a strain on you. It's not your nature."

"Aye, that might be true," he said, surprising her with his honesty. "I'm no' polite, nor am I one for wooing and compliments. I say what's on my mind whether a lady's in the room or no', but—"

"But if I look past the tarnished surface," she interrupted in a saccharine tone, clasping her hands to her chest, "there's a good man beneath? Just waiting for the right woman to turn him around? Tell that to Blue-Eyed Bea. She believes it again and again. I do not." She put her hand on the doorknob.

"No, I was no' going to say I'm a good man. I canna make that claim. And I doona believe a man can change his nature. But I was going to point out that I'm likely the best you're going to get. I will no' ever strike you, you will never want for anything, and you will never have to back down to anyone again. There's a reason you have no' asked the Weylands for help. You're prideful. Why no' go back to England as their equal?"

"On the surface, this seems logical." So why did she feel like she was about to pocket a scarf and a hidden gendarme was watching her every move? She suddenly narrowed her eyes, suspicion flaring. "You've never asked me about my proposal, the one I told you I had waiting in the wings."

"It was obvious to me that you had no' and would no' accept him if you were still living in poverty, and the last thing I wanted to do was remind you of another candidate."

"No, I was ready to accept him, buthe refusedme . After waiting for so long, he was suspicious of my virtue."

MacCarrick's brows drew together. "Do you think I could possibly have something to do with that? Of course, I wrote him of my conquest." When she remained unconvinced, he said, "Which begs the question: Why did you keep him waiting?"

"I had a bad feeling."

Instead of scoffing, he nodded and said, "Do you have a bad feeling now?"

"I don't know." She couldn't tell. She was exhausted, bewildered, and probably drunk. She didn't think she should believe him, but if she trusted her instincts…"I just need some time to think about all this."Am I doing something to leave myself vulnerable? "It's a big step."